We started this discussion last Friday when I discussed my tendency to do emotional shopping. Read the post Much Ado About Money to get caught up.
One of the first things that I learned as I am reading the book "To Buy or Not to Buy", by April Lane Benson, is that there are two main categories people who emotionally buy fit in to:
- Emotional shoppers tend to have low self-esteem and feelings of insecurity. Also, they don't handle having negative emotions well.
- Emotional shoppers identify having material things with having a good life. They tend to equate the number and 'quality' of things they have to their sense of self-worth.
I feel pretty sure that I have more problems with the second category at this point in my life than the first. I definitely used to spend emotionally for the reasons in the first category, but as I've got healthier emotionally, I don't seem to do that any more. I've only just started this process, though, so who knows what I'll discover!
Chapter 1 of the book starts to discuss some of the reasons people engage in emotional shopping. See if any of these resonate with you:
- Do you overshop to feel better about yourself or more secure?
- Do you overshop to avoid dealing with something important?
- Do you use shopping as a weapon, to express anger or seek revenge?
- Do you overshop to hold on to love?
- Do you overshop to soothe yourself or repair your mood?
- Do you overshop to project an image of wealth and power?
- Do you overshop to fit into an appearance obsessed society?
- Do you overshop in response to stress, loss, or trauma?
- Do you overshop because it's the lesser evil? (e.g., it's better than doing drugs or overeating, etc.)
- Do you overshop to feel more in control?
- Do you overshop to find meaning in your life or deny death?
As I read through these, there are some that I know I USED to do (#1, #2, #5, #6, #10), and a couple I think I do now (#5, #6). Interesting that some of the same are carrying over. As I read through these, there are some that I absolutely don't believe I do (#3, #4) but then I'm not so sure. The only I am sure of is that it is becoming more clear that I definitely do have some emotional shopping issues! The question now is: where do they stem from and what tools can I develop to help myself overcome them?
Do you any of the reasons for overshopping resonate with you? Tell me about them.